Wholehearted Communication
Wholehearted Communication is based on Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication model. This alternative way of speaking, listening and thinking can enliven interactions and inspire authentic kindness.
We are offering opportunities to learn these skills and principles through a variety of workshops, retreats and practice groups in the California Sierra foothills, in Tuolumne and Calaveras Counties. Offerings are available for all levels of experience, from beginner to advanced.
Join us in learning a joyful antidote to the frustration, violence, alienation, cynicism and depression that our cultural conditioning perpetuates.
Nonviolent Communication:
A Language of Compassion
by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
Chapter One: Giving from the heart, the heart of nonviolent communication
While studying the factors that affect our ability to stay compassionate, I was struck by the crucial role of language and our use of words. I have since identified a specific approach to communicating—speaking and listening—that leads us to give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves and with each other in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish. I call this approach Nonviolent Communication, using the term “nonviolence” as Gandhi used it—to refer to our natural state of compassion when violence has subsided from the heart. While we may not consider the way we talk to be “violent,” our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for ourselves or others. In some communities, the process I am describing is known as Compassionate Communication; the abbreviation “NVC” is used throughout this book to refer to Nonviolent or Compassionate Communication.
A way to focus attention
NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions. It contains nothing new; all that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries. The intent is to remind us about what we already know—about how we humans were meant to relate to one another—and to assist us in living in a way that concretely manifests this knowledge.
NVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others. Instead of being habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on an awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathic attention. In any exchange, we come to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. NVC trains us to observe carefully, and to be able to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us. We learn to identify and clearly articulate what we are concretely wanting in a given situation. The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.
As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism, we come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC fosters respect, attentiveness, and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.
Source: Nonviolent Communication™: A Language of Life
by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg, 2003 - published by PuddleDancer Press
For more information visit www.cnvc.org and www.NonviolentCommunication.com